One Concept

The concept I want to discuss is relational dialects, because this actually came up in a conversation I was having with my friend a couple days ago, and why being in a relationship sucks at times because there isn't enough comfort with these opposing forces, or tensions which are normal in relationships. There are three different dialects. One is autonomy/connection, which is the desire to want to spend time with one another and also wanting your own space. The other one is novelty/predictability, which is the want for rhythms and routines of our relationship, and then the need to do something new and different. Then at last is openness/closedness, which is wanting to share stuff with someone and then there are things that you don't want to share with them. Everyone experiences these wants and needs, but not everyone understands them. For example the first one, we want to spend time with someone we care about but you can't spend all your time with them, because you have other interests, but the other person might not understand and think that you don't want to spend time with them because there is something wrong with them. I think it's important to understand these relational dialects because that way you can avoid a lot of unnecessary conflict. 

Favorite. Least Favorite. Improvements

My favorite thing about the class was probably being able to relate the course material to real life. I actually enjoyed the writing assignments as well and I got to look at my personal communications style, especially with the relationship paper. I got to look at my relationship with my best friend on another level because you don't always think about your communication with your friends because you just go along with the relationship as a whole. I think the least favorite thing about this class would have to be the quizzes. I know since this is online class, there are online quizzes but I didn't learn anything from taking them. So to me they were pretty pointless. Other than the quizzes, I don't see how this class could be improved any further. I like how we used a blog for discussion and I liked the written assignments, because those actually taught me something new.

What I have learned

I think that I've actually learned quite a lot more in this class than in any of my other classes. I think that's because we communicate on a daily basis. One thing that I learned from writing the intercultural paper, is how different communication can be in different countries and how important it is to understand communication in these culture when you travel, especially on business. You don't want to say something that will offend the other person, or make them not understand what you messages you are trying to convey. Another thing, I learned was about the self and how other people perceive you versus how you see yourself. Then last but not least, I learned how to communicate more effectively by taking different steps during a conflict, for example by aiming for a win-win conflict or focusing on the overall communication system, as it is part of a larger whole.

3. Chapter 11 Concept

Guidelines for effective communication in families: 

Maintain Equity in Family Relationships- The most important thing in sustaining healthy families is to make fairness a high priority. You have to invest equally into a relationship.


Make Daily Choices that enhance Intimacy-Families are creative projects that reflect the choices made by the people around them. Small and big choices both matter in a relationship. You choose who you want to be with your actions and how you will bring awareness to the choices you make in your relationship.


Show Respect and Consideration- Families need to value and respect each other to be able to sustain a healthy family. It's easy to take your partner for granted, but it is important to show respect when facing problems and discussing complaints.


Don't Sweat the Small Stuff- Try to overlook minor irritations and frustrations. This will make any relationship last, whether friendship or romantic. Even though you can't control the small stuff, you sure can take responsibility for your perceptions and your response to them.

2. Changes in Marriage

I think from the changes that have already happened like marrying and divorcing multiple times, as well as arranged marriages and the fact that it's not always expected to marry, more changes will occur in the next 50 years. I think that more people will either get married just for the sake of it, like Kim Kardashian or Britney Spears. Marriage isn't a serious matter anymore, and I think the decrease in importance will either have an increase in marriage (as well as more divorces resulting from careless marriages) but it might also decrease. I know I'm not looking into getting married anytime soon, just so that I can get a divorce a couple years later. I would be fine being in a co-habitual relationship, not because of the commitment problems but rather the fact that marriage is sacred and you shouldn't have to divorce.  A few of my friends are already married and are starting to have children, but for me this is to early in life. I think some other things that might change is the age that people marry. Back in the day people used to marry very young and now most people want to wait, some even after they are 30.

1. Family Definition

I think that Family is anyone that is there for each other when times are rough. You don't have to be related to be considered family. Family is an unconditional love for one another. I would consider some of my close friends more of a family than the people that are actually related to me. They are the ones that see me and talk to me on a daily basis. They sit and listen to me cry, and they know all my problems. My real family doesn't really know everything about me like my close friends do. So I think that most things discussed in this chapter fit into this definition. Whether you are a couple, a couple with kids, or just really close friends, as long as you are there for each other and love each other and support each other, it can pretty much be considered family and you don't have to be married either to be a family or to even start one.

3. Chapter 11-Concept

Styles of Loving:
People might believe that love grows out of a friendship or that it happens at first sight. Just like there are primary colors there are primary styles of loving, eros, storge and ludos.
Eros: The most spontaneous love style, is intense and it includes sexual, spiritual, intellectual, or emotional attraction.
Storge: This is a love based on friendship and compatibility, it is comfortable and even-keeled kind. It grows out of common interests, values and life goals. They do not include the great highs of erotic ones but they don't partake in fiery conflict.
Ludos: This type of love is playful, and it is seen as a game, like a lighthearted adventure that is not really taken seriously. Many people go through ludic periods, like after a long-term relationship, but they don't stay in it. This style of loving is for people who like the romance but aren't ready to settle down.